I spent 6 months back home prior to the wedding while my husband was here. He planned remotely while I planned the wedding locally. It was challenging but we made it in the end.
My tips are based on planning a wedding in Uganda; putting into consideration our culture and norms. But they may be universal.If it’s your cup of tea to do it all on your own, please go ahead.
Teamwork is Key
We had a team of about 15 friends and family members. We met once a week for 3 months and discussed how to go about the planning.
We were lucky to have these guys on our team. I think that I would have broken down if it weren’t for them.
Appoint a leader
We understand it is your wedding, but you need a leader for your team. You can’t do it all – it will suck the life out of you. It’s just one important day that will come and go.
If you can afford a wedding planner, then you probably don’t need a leader. This person coordinates the rest of the team and makes key decisions with the couple.
Book service providers way in advance
6 months in advance or thereabouts… all depends on your location. In Uganda, if you book later than that, you are unlikely to get your venue of choice.
Clearly state what’s on your turf
A bride knows what she wants for her wedding. What I did was choose the cake, dresses and decor – these are what I had dreamed about all my life.
I left the rest to the team and I would only offer a few pointers if I did not agree with what they selected.
Fulfill Cultural Traditions
Make sure your team consists of members of your spouse’s family to ensure the traditional requirements are met.
TRY to stay within budget
This also means that you should have a budget in the first place and your spouse being away doesn’t give you the leeway to make out-of-budget decisions.
Be considerate
Keep calm! Your wedding is not the most important thing in the world.
Be tactful about approaching slacking members, allow your leader to handle dispute and try not to lose your cool (I know its not easy- Weddings are high stress events).
If you do lose your cool (and don’t make a habit of it), apologise. People are understanding, but only within certain limits.
Keep your spouse updated
It’s his wedding too so keep him in the loop, let him make decisions for whatever he states is on his turf – you had your chance to do this as well.
Enjoy every minute! This is not exhaustive and I’ll add to the list soon.
What are your tips on planning a wedding while your spouse is abroad?
